Speaking Figuratively

On my journey I am exploring images from many vantage points. One of those points is to look to at a source that continues as a theme in my drawings, the figure. The figure as a way of expressing ideas that are not quite ideas. I'm not trying to understand, to give meaning, just draw, find something that is familiar to me from making so many images for so many years. Not just familiar but maybe something that is revealing. A revelation, what a concept. Is there a transition coming or am I just going deeper? Questions are more important that the answers. I'm looking to find the open passage now.

Back to the Drawing Board

More appropriately I should say back to the drawing wall. There is no doubt that the "after the exhibit blues" is a reality. Because the "Shifting Landscapes" reception will not be until August 31, the malaise has set in and will reverse at an unknown time. I would love to know how many other artists have the same letdown. I know it's coming, I prepare, I acknowledge....nothing derails its little insidious onset. Happens every time. I wander around aimlessly for days or weeks at a time. I don't think of it as an "artist block" because I do continue to work in some capacity.

So what to do.
1. write in my journal
2. look at sketchbooks, oh let's go way back, years
3. read fiction, nonfiction, art books whatever
4. draw on the wall

The most effective of these diversions is drawing. It is a powerful way to work my way back to painting and there are many drawings I will like enough to show them. Most images will never see the outside of the studio. It can get a little dark in the studio at times like this.

Time to chase the critics, most of whom are residing in my head. Eventually they will all be asked to leave in an orderly fashion. Let the mayhem begin.

The drawing is "All the Little Creatures". I know them all.

Alice Neel

When I have time off from the studio, from the actual creation of images, I find myself immersed in art in a different way studying the art of the artists that I admire. Today has been a day to study Alice Neel. Neel was an artist with work worthy of study. How can you not be mesmerized by her line, her brushwork...I am totally in awe, this woman of the early twentieth century, born in 1900, who can teach so much.
I'll be moving my home soon and this process always brings up memories of past series of paintings, in this case it is the figure work that I did before the last momentus (to me) move that spawned a series of the best figure paintings that I have done. Moving is always stimulating to me almost always a good series of paintings ensue. I love to start over to stretch. The painting here is titled of course "Moving". Behind the figure are all the moving boxes as yet to be unpacked.

Not to intimate in any way that my paintings have a relationship to Neel's work but I feel a connection, be it just the fact that I was working freely after my move and certainly with no restrictions. When I look at the current series of paintings to be exhibited, I must say I feel almost disconnected from the past. The exhibit of the figures at Lynne Farris' Gallery was a gift, a cohesive body of work that said something about me though I still wouldn't hazard a guess what that is. I ask myself am I the same person, the same artist. I have passed into another world, another territory and looking back very briefly gives me a perspective. I'm not much for hanging on to the past. In fact, I am nortorious for ridding myself of any incumbrances. I am a minimalist at saving when it comes to things including artwork. But I do save images and occasionally a glance back is worth it.

I liked what Alice's son said about her, "She teaches you to never give up".

A Day Off

The paintings are hung at GPC (Georgia Perimeter College, Clarkston Campus, Fine Arts Gallery) with the expert assistance of gallery director, Don Dougan. I was so glad to move the 37 paintings out of my studio. Once they are out no more changes to be made. Thank goodness. I think I begin to question each image if I look at them too long and this series of paintings was accomplished during a five month period remarkable to me since there were side trips taken during this time as well, paintings that were entirely unrelated. That was in fact good because any break gave me a chance to come back to the series and work with renewed energy and a slightly different eye so neccesary for remaining fresh. I always learn something from an unrelated image whether it be a drawing, print or painting of mine or sometimes even an artwork that is accomplished by one of my students.

Today is a day off. I have such a hard time taking time off from the studio, call me obsessive, type A...both apply I am sure and I consider it a plus except when I need to stop, renew. It's hard to know at first when it's time but yesterday told me stop! I was barely able to converse, to think clearly...The good stress had the upperhand. True of any creative you must leave time for the gestation of new images. It will take a day or two before I am truly able to relax.

So here is the painting that is my focus right now while I relax. I will not visualize it directly but let it simmer beneath the surface. When I return to the studio in a few days I will begin to draw again on my new big white wall and begin to comb through the photographs that have been awaiting my attention, no expectations just draw and look and luxuriate in the power of images.,

Disparate Thoughts

When I came into the studio this morning I had many thoughts rumbling in my brain. One of course as the result of seeing the three new paintings waiting completion. It all has to do with color. Color is very significant right now. Too much makes me crazy and not enough doesn't seem to work. So how much is enough? It's alarms me to see anything too "colorful" as that does not work in my eye with the story that I am telling. The line is everything right now; it's fast, confidant, moving. Yet there is the blue, yellow staring at me, taunting me. I am trying to let go but that's the hard part.

Then there is the music and the words. Music was so important to this series of paintings. It set the tone for the swiftness of drawing and painting leaving little time for reflection until it was too late and the India ink was dry and permanent. I can hear the music even when it's not playing carrying around like a third hand.

"Now I Become Myself" a poem written by May Sarton and one that tells the tale since the spring this year. "Now I become myself.....Now to stand still, to be here, feel my own weight and density." I am glad that there are those who are so articulate. They can speak for me in words since I have only images.

The Challenge

As I count down to my exhibit at Georgia Perimeter College, I've slowed down today to take stock of the images I've created. I have another three paintings started and can't wait to start but have to wait for gesso to dry before I add the next layers. While contemplating these paintings I realize what a journey it has been since I started in the spring. To put together a themed exhibit is a challenge and what happened as I started surprised me.

The work that I thought I was continuing did not continue and something new and miraculous happened. An entirely new series emerged. Now that would be great except for the fact that the previous series has images that are not entirely related or not related in the way that I would like. So what happens, I have to created more paintings than I thought I would.

Now part of that equation is that I love the new images so much that I want to continue with this theme. They are just the right amount of abstraction married to the decipherable to make me excited with the process. Though I titled my show "Shifting Landscapes", I could have easily titled it "Memory Trance" for that what if feels like to make these paintings.

The image pictured here is "Simultaneity" which sums up the series very well. A large painting 30 x 72 inches. More new work on my website http://www.helenderamus.com .

Going Solo

Too long since I last posted but hey I've been busy. Working in the studio is not easy right now as everyone must know our weather here in the south is ghastly. I say that and truly this year I have just accepted the fact that it is hot and will be hot till sometime in the fall. I have been not comfortable but at least keeping myself in the moment of painting with the goal of finishing the paintings for my solo show at Georgia Perimeter College (Clarkston campus) in the Fine Art Building. The show officially opens on August 15th with the reception set on August 31st.

"Shifting Landscapes" is my chosen title with the inspiration coming from three sources: my Hambidge Residency, the music of John Adams and Lucas Samaras, and the poetry of Mary Oliver. What a line up! The series took on a life of its own when I completed fifteen large drawings that I found compelling. The series then began a quest to transfer the essence of those drawings to encaustic. The trip to encaustic was not a trip that I could have predicted and has led to a series of unexpected images that I'm not sure I totally understand yet. The pure abstraction that I am seeking is only partly realized. The more non-objective they become the happier and more questioning I become. There is no doubt that I am reaching for a deeper understanding of what this painting life is all about.