Why is it that spontaneous color is so hard to come by. I've been working in oil for the past three weeks and for some reason the colors will not come. They're not singing to me. I teach private students and I'm always on their backs to loosen up, let the color and images come to them. Don't try to push it. Well, guess what? I'm pushing, pulling, almost no hair left on my head and all I see before me is mush, not mud, mush. Letting go has to be the hardest thing an artist must do to create. Part of the problem has been commissions...I love doing them but they can stop me being me at some point and trying to find me again takes some time.
The painting here is what I consider my only success lately. But it didn't come easily. The failures are lining up now and I'm quickly removing them from my studio. Sure, I know that learning from failures is how you find success but it feels terrible sometimes.