Palette Fight

I'm fighting with my palette this morning or I should say this has been going on for more than a week. Yes it is possible to do battle. My main problem is that I have fallen in love with half of the painting. How could this be when clearly my mentor stressed continually "don't fall in love with any part of your painting". My students have heard that over and over. I did fall in love with half of the painting and thus I'm struggling to make it work. Good advice I received last night..."scrape it all off". Why am I hesitating to do this? The answer is I don't know so I am writing to find out why. For the last several days, I've journaled and still not found my path to the next step. Put the painting away for a while. Though also good advice, I discovered a long time ago just how stubborn I am. So I sit here and ponder and think the best idea is to pull out paper and draw. The battle will be over soon. My second option might be to look at the painting as it stands now on the computer screen and try for objectivity. I have a solo exhibit looming out there.. maybe a reason for turmoil to arise as I delve into questions I must face to continue.

Where are the hues?

Why is it that spontaneous color is so hard to come by. I've been working in oil for the past three weeks and for some reason the colors will not come. They're not singing to me. I teach private students and I'm always on their backs to loosen up, let the color and images come to them. Don't try to push it. Well, guess what? I'm pushing, pulling, almost no hair left on my head and all I see before me is mush, not mud, mush. Letting go has to be the hardest thing an artist must do to create. Part of the problem has been commissions...I love doing them but they can stop me being me at some point and trying to find me again takes some time.

The painting here is what I consider my only success lately. But it didn't come easily. The failures are lining up now and I'm quickly removing them from my studio. Sure, I know that learning from failures is how you find success but it feels terrible sometimes.